Good marriages are earned by experience, not found with glass slippers.


In a talk called “Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Celestial Marriage” by Bruce A. Chadwick, he gave 5 suggestions to assist in establishing & strengthening a marriage.

1-      For all Cinderellas and Prince Charmings to throw away their glass slippers. The Lord’s plan is to find a right one rather than the one. Usually Heavenly Father says, “You pick one you like who is worthy, and I will give you my blessing.” There are actually many whose foot will nicely fit within the glass slipper.

2-      Don’t wait for others to carry your glass slipper about the campus looking for a match. “If I marry the right person, we will live happily ever after,” fails to prepare couple for married life. People will start to think “I married the wrong person because I am not happy ever after.” Strong marriages emerge out of helping each other overcome problems as a team-helping and supporting each other along the way- are what produce a happy marriage. The Cinderella complex encourages people to give up on a relationship too quickly and to start another search for the perfect spouse. The traits and characteristics we are looking for in a spouse will emerge out of the years of experience together. Look for the potential in a spouse and then help each other achieve your desires. Good marriages are earned by experience, not found with glass slippers.
3-      Exercise faith and to have courage in dating and marriage. Is it scary to marry! It is scary to stay married during troubled times! It is scary to be responsible for children! Have faith in God your Father and in His Son. They will guide and strengthen us because we are on Their errand or creating eternal families and raising children in righteousness. President Benson said “Those fears must be replaced with faith.” We cannot sit and do nothing and wait for the Lord to bring a spouse to the altar for us. We cannot wait for the Lord to create a special love between our spouse and us. He does not magically cause the perfect family to appear when there has been little, if any effort on our part.

4-      To keep physical intimacy at an appropriate level so as to enjoy the presence of the Spirit and to be worthy to seal your commitment to each other in the temple. Chastity is a necessary condition for eternal life. Couples who cohabit and then wed are less happier and are more likely to divorce. Married men and women are happier, healthier and live longer then single divorced men and women. Marriage is a part of God’s great plan. It is good for both the body and the soul. Young people sometimes justify inappropriate intimacy on the grounds that it is an expression of their special love and that it strengthens their relationship. More often it actually destroys a potential eternal relationship. One person will associate the other person with the guilt they felt for the terrible deed they had done. And in their mind the other person became the cause of their sin and they will hate the other person. The feelings of tenderness and love turn to guilt, then to dislike, and perhaps even to hate. Too much intimacy too soon is not the Lord’s way.

5-      “Pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:43-44) Amazingly praying for our enemies reverses our feelings. Your heart is softened and the Spirit abides with you. When you are angry, when a relationship is stretched thin to the limit, sincerely pray for the person who at that moment “hates” you.  And for those who are single, not only pray for yourself in a dating relationship but also to pray for the young man or woman in whom you are interested. Pray for what is best for them, which may turn out not to be you. But good things will follow.  

A successful couple- ability to plan, work well together & have a good time while working together.


Planned, Paid for, Paired off

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