My Top 10 List of Things I Learned This Semester

My Top 10 List of Things I Learned This Semester

1-      I loved learning about the three different types of learning. The first being Surface Learning which is very basic. The second is Strategic Learning which is just knowing enough for the test questions. The third is Deep Learning which is the best kind. You know what is important, intriguing and beautiful about a certain topic.

2-      I liked learning about the Family Systems. It shows how family’s work, why families do a certain thing and can help predict what’ll happen. You get to see what the family rules were in that house such as allowable behavior, the systems, roles, and the expectations. The only way to truly know a person’s family system is by trial and error.

3-      I liked learning about the difference between Females and Males. Females: see things in relation to others, fine motor skills, small details, nurturing, interactive, cooperative, able to be aware of many things at the same time, reading verbal and non-verbal cues. Males: gross motor skills, special orientation, competitive, tasks, upper body strength, better at math, problem solving, startal response, take things at face value and aggression. I love knowing that we aren’t all the exact same and that we each can fulfill different roles as a couple and for our family.

4-      I liked learning about Same-Sex Attraction because it gave me a little bit more of an understanding about my brother. Some Potential Contributing Factors: wounded gender identity, bullying, father hunger (absent, no same interests), mother confusion, inappropriate touch or no touch (no hugs, a hunger for it), or pornography. An early interaction with your parents can determine a child’s sexuality. It is Nature vs. Nurture, not when you’re born and emotional needs and wounds.

5-      I liked learning about Dating. How a couple dates can be predicted on how the marriage will be like. The patterns in dating will be the same patterns in the marriage. A good couple has the ability to plan, work well together and have a good time while working. Planned, Paid for, Paired off.

6-      ßFriends vs  Loversà Dating until you hate is not a good thing! First you meet them and get exclusive and get attached while not seeing clearly on how they are. Its most likely for divorce. Sliding from one step to another=no success. You need to talk about being exclusive. And don’t talk about big decisions together. Just assume and do it.

7-      6 Styles of Love: 1- Erotic-focus on the physical and sexual. 2- Ludic- view love as a game. 3- Storgic- have a quiet affection for another. 4- Manic- have the passion of eros but play the game of lodus. 5- Pragmatic- take the rational approach, assessing the other for desirable traits. 6- Agapic- act on behalf of the well-being of the other, expecting nothing in return. Those who cohabit, compared to those who don’t, are likely to have a poorer quality of marriage and greater risk of divorce.

8-      RAM Model: the 5 factors for it are Know, Trust, Rely, Commit and Touch. You should never have these higher than the one before it. If you do, its unlikely you will have successful relationships. To have a healthy relationship, keep the order in balance and don’t mix the order. A good formula is Togetherness (variety) X Talk (mutual self- disclosure) X Time (> 3 months) =HEALTHY. A predictor of marital failure is to see each other 24/7.

9-      Engagement: its all about decision making and problem solving. Communication is not the problem, its your willingness. Assess without judgement. 4 Important things to consider are Wedding Planning, Marriage Planning (more important), Process of Becoming One, and Boundaries (creating a “One” with each other). When the man proposes, he shouldn’t know if you’re committed. He needs to be committed to the relationship first. Talk about marriage as if you were to get married. Not as a sure thing but as a concept. You should make the choice independently and then come together. People who don’t take risks (risk avoidance) are not as successful. Doubt during dating=bad, clarity and confidence=good.

10-  “One For The Money” 1- Pay an honest tithing. 2- Learn to manage money before it manages you (TrackàBudget). 3- Learn self-discipline and self-restraint in money matters (Debt-elimination calendar). 4- Use a budget. 5- Teach family members early the importance of working and earning. 6- Teach children to make money decisions in keeping with their capacities to comprehend. 7- Teach each family member to contribute to the Total Family Welfare. 8- Make education a continuing process. 9- Work toward home ownership. 10- Appropriately involve yourself in an insurance program. 11- Understand the influence of external forces on family finances and investments. 12- Appropriately involve yourself in a food storage and emergency preparedness program. You need to have a plan in place and plan for the future as well.